Psalms 139: 14-17: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
Throughout my life, there have been periods of time where I wish I was more like someone else and wondered why God made me the way I am. I can be a mixture of opposites. I am very shy in new situations but once comfortable, can be outgoing and sometimes too loud. I tend to be a perfectionist in some areas of my life, but wish I was more like my sister and mom at keeping my house neat and organized.
“Wishing to be something (I) am not is an insult to God.” (Joel Osteen). That quote reminds me of a conversation I once had with a very good friend. I was commenting to her how I wished that I was more like a coworker of ours than myself. Our coworker was one of those people who was very deliberate in everything she did and I admired that. She thought things out carefully before doing anything: Whether eating, speaking, working, or even moving. I was admiring that trait in her because I tend to be the complete opposite: I eat fast, move fast, talk fast, work fast, drive fast (but not too fast)…I think you get the picture. However, my friend’s answer was one that I still remind myself of often. She told me that God has a specific purpose for everyone and He wants me to fulfill my own, one that requires a different personality and set of gifts from anyone else.
And she was exactly right. The jobs that God has used me the most in require multitasking, lots of energy, and quite a bit of a sense of humor (not to mention eating on the run). If I was a more deliberate, carefully planned out person, I would not be as effective in the areas that God has designed me to fit best in.
When I remind myself of those wise words, it frees up my thinking and I am able to relax my perfectionism in certain areas. I will probably never have the neatest house and I may never learn the art of slowing down, but I have learned to enjoy running full speed ahead to my next adventure in some instances and appreciate the times life is calm. In other words, I am learning how to be free to be the real me.