One of Those Days

“Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality”    Romans 12:11-13 (The Message). 

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I woke up a few months’ ago feeling sad and just a bit down.  My heart was heavy as I thought about painful issues some of my friends were dealing with.  I was feeling under the weather, tired, and looking at my schedule, was extremely busy.

I’ve gotten a lot closer to my Heavenly Father in the last few months and I realize when I’m feeling this way what I need to do.  I used to run to another person to fill that need or something tangible like food to momentarily distract me from my blah feelings, even though I knew none of those things would satisfy, not really.  It’s unfair for me to place that kind of responsibility on those I love.  They aren’t responsible for my happiness any more than I can be responsible to make them happy.  And food: Really, when I overindulge, I end up feeling worse.

So, I chose to talk to Him instead.  I got myself to a quiet place and just poured out my soul to the One who can make a difference.  I told Him what was bothering me, exactly how I was feeling, and even though I’m sure most of my feelings were irrational or borne from emotional and physical exhaustion, I didn’t feel criticized or judged.  Then, I asked God something I’ve started asking of Him more and more lately. I asked Him to love me.  I didn’t need Him to tell me He would take care of me, protect me and my loved ones, or fix the issues we were facing.  I wasn’t having a faith crisis.  I just was having an Eyeore day.  I just wanted to feel loved.  So, I did just that.  I asked Him to somehow, in His own unique way, show me how much He loved me.  And then I waited.  I didn’t need an instant answer.  I didn’t want a quick fix.

It’s been a few hours and I’m still waiting.  And that’s okay.  Because my Father is so personal and from past experiences, I know that He will find a way to personalize how much I mean to Him at just the right time and in just the right way.

What about you?  Do you ever just need to feel loved and accepted for who you are?  There is a Heavenly Father waiting to show you, in a very personal way, just how much you mean to Him.  And you know what?  He loves it when we ask.  Especially if we’re having one of those days.

© Cheri Swalwell 2014

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