“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4 (NIV)
I wrote an earlier blog entitled God Trusts Me With His Silence. During the latest trial that our family is still walking through, God showed me another blessing. I’ve continued to ask God to show me what direction He wants me to take (keep waiting, start walking in a new direction, or continue obeying with the previous assignment). I’ve also tried to put this trial into perspective. It could be much worse than unemployment and while that brings about its own stresses, I have friends walking much more difficult roads. Through it all, I’ve continued to listen to any sign of His still small voice speaking to me. Because when He chooses to speak, I want to be listening.
Today I got a hug from God. I had felt Him nudging me to invite a lady I know only casually out for coffee. When I found out my schedule was going to be a bit more free the next few weeks, I got excited thinking, “Now I have the time to ask her for coffee and get to know her more than superficially.” However, at the same time, I’ve felt pressure to be looking for income to replace what we’ve lost, pressure to continue to work hard on the assignments God has previously called me to fulfill, and to play “catch up” on things I’ve neglected for far too long. As a result…the invitation wasn’t spoken.
Today I arrived for pickup a few minutes early and told our daughter, “I’ll be right back. I want to catch up with our friend.” So I approached her and we started chatting. I ended up inviting her for coffee and she was very receptive, although the actual “get together” is being postponed an extra week. (I think I’m going to pray about that and ask God to open my schedule up sooner as I don’t want to miss what may be a divine appointment.) However, at the same time, she asked me a question that I wouldn’t have had an answer to if our family wasn’t walking this journey presently. And I said that to her – that maybe one reason God was allowing me to be unemployed was so I could help her with resources I wouldn’t have otherwise had.
I say that as a reminder that it’s not all about me. I am but a small piece in the puzzle of life and God’s biggest purpose – to point people to His Son so that they may experience eternal life. As I pointed out in God Cares More About the Journey, this particular trial was never about my next job. It was never about being unemployed. It’s always only been about God ultimately getting the glory – fulfilling His purpose of pointing all of us toward His Son and eternal life in Heaven.
I’m so glad that God loves me enough to give me the privilege of being a small part of the puzzle to point others toward Him. I’m not an evangelist. I don’t do well when trying to explain my faith or how to have eternal life. But I do love God with my whole heart and if people can see that difference in me and have patience as I try and find the words to explain what that means to me (and to them), then I’ll have done what God asks of me. Ultimately, that’s all that matters. And I smiled a little today when I realized that even when God remains silent about the “job,” He’s still speaking loud and clear about my real purpose on earth – pointing others toward Him.
© Cheri Swalwell 2015