“I’m telling you these things while I’m still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you. Peace. I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught.”
John 14:25-27 (The Message)
I spoke last time how the day after I heard the sermon about worry, I woke up plagued by fear about my family. Not even my job. When Satan wants to wreak havoc on me, he knows what areas of my life to target. Family is the biggest one for me.
Well, I passed that test by handing it all over to God before even setting foot out of bed. Then God blessed me with a phone call from a friend I haven’t talked to in months. We’d been praying for each other – she was praying with me for my job situation and I was praying with her about her husband’s job situation. She called to give God all the glory – detailing how He’d worked everything out in their lives in a matter of days, and how He’d given her peace ahead of time that He had it taken care of…to just trust.
That was such a blessing to me this morning. I know that what God does for others, He’s also doing for us. I made the choice last week to continue to trust, have faith that His original promise to me, His original command in January 2014, was still His intent in our lives instead of letting doubt creep in and me thinking I had to change the plan. Her words today were confirmation about that – keep believing, keep obeying what He told me to do in the past, and He’ll work out all the details in His time.
However, for a newly recovering worrier, there is always something to worry about. I started a new part time job (which I had fasted about for three days and believe God gave me specific perimeters to apply for) and I was feeling a little overwhelmed. I was also entertaining worry that I’d leave them in a lurch after they were so nice to train me if I got the BEST that I was waiting for and had to quit. I decided to give that God as well. If He chooses for me the desire of my heart which is a job I’m passionate about (one job, not multiple) and the opportunity to continue writing, He’ll work out the details of this job. If He has other plans, then I know they’ll be the BEST. The only job I have is to give God my worries and ask for His peace, and then do my best work in His strength while I wait for His timing and His plan to unfold.
While I still feel a little overwhelmed (just because new jobs and responsibilities do that to me), I have peace today. I’m not feeling the urge to “reward myself with food” – I’m instead choosing to work hard with the gifts I have so that when my family comes home, I can turn off the computer and devote my time to them instead. I have a continuous loop of a prayer going, though, asking God to help me keep moderation and find the right balance between the new job responsibilities and my most important (and favorite) responsibilities: A loving husband and three amazing kids.
I find there will always be opportunities to practice the choice between worry and peace, fear and faith, selfishness and obedience, overindulgence and self control…you get the idea. And like I said previously, I’m glad. Without the opportunity to practice, I probably wouldn’t feel the need to cling to my Father…and there isn’t anyone I’d rather cling to.
© Cheri Swalwell 2015