Submission – Part I

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)


If you want to know where you stand in your relationship with your Heavenly Father, take a good look at your relationships with those you love the most here on earth.  In my opinion, that is a true litmus test of whether or not you trust your Father, have control issues, or are truly surrendered to His ways.


I’ve always thought of myself as a submissive wife.  I enjoy allowing my husband lead our family.  He does a great job, so I will be honest, that makes it a lot easier to submit to him.  I recently had the opportunity to read the book The Peaceful Wife by April Cassidy.  It opened my eyes that I’m not as submissive as I thought.  I’ve always had a stubborn streak. I like to have my own way more than I care to admit.  As a child, I fought parental control (and Heavenly Father control) in a more passive-aggressive way, resisting being told what to do.

As I started reading this book, God showed me areas in my life that I had made off limits to submission.  I thought Bill and I had agreed that in some areas I was in charge, not him.  How, though, is that true submission, if I keep control of some areas?  It’s NOT!  For the record, the only agreement that was made in those areas was my false assumptions.   My husband loves God and our family so much that he takes his role of leadership very seriously.  That means he takes God’s command to be head of the household in all areas very seriously. And, like my Heavenly Father, my earthly husband doesn’t force his will on me.  He points out the areas that need to be changed, several times if I need to be told more than once, and then allows me time to line up my will with God’s. He will continue to patiently show me the right way, giving me multiple changes to submit without dominating his control over me.

This passive-aggressive, “thinks-I’m-completely-submissive-when-I’m-not” wife  had  to have a serious conversation with her Heavenly Father a few weeks ago.  You see… I happily submitted in all areas of our life except two.  Those two were the areas I felt a smidge of confidence in and therefore, I liked the idea of being in charge. Or at least I wanted my husband to agree with my way of doing things in these areas.  I didn’t mind talking to him about what I was doing, but I wanted him to agree with my decisions, and furthermore, I wanted him to tell me my ways were awesome, even if  in fact they weren’t.

Come back next time and I will show you how God lovingly wouldn’t let me keep control in any area of my life… not if I truly wanted to be a submissive wife and more importantly, a submissive child to Him.

© Cheri Swalwell 2016

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