“This is how we know we’re living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He’s given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. Also, we’ve seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent his Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God’s Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we’ve embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.”
I John 4:13-16 (The Message)
Approximately a year ago God invited me on a journey. It was to find out just how much He loved me and how to rest in that love no matter what. I had an idea of what I wanted that journey to look like and how long I wanted to travel and as always seems to happen… one year later it doesn’t look anything like what I thought it would.
Twelve months into this journey, I feel like I’m just starting to understand the beginnings of the truths that God wants to teach me. That I’m loved… not because of anything I do or don’t do, but simply because I’m His child. What a hard concept to accept in a world where accomplishments, looks, and achievements are verbally (and nonverbally) judged on a regular basis.
Two weeks ago, God gave me a wonderful example of this which I want to share about today. I was presented with a choice, and while I knew what the best answer was for my family, I knew that it would involve some disappointment in others. I prayed about it and asked God to please give me the right words to express my feelings.
After having the difficult conversation a few days later, I was suffering from guilt. I knew that I’d obeyed God and I believe He wanted me to rest in that obedience and His love, but the old me was caught up in the false guilt felt from the response received. So, I prayed. I asked Him to show me if I had sinned or disobeyed… and if not, to reaffirm that I had obeyed and pleased Him.
After sitting silently for a few minutes with my thoughts (I was actually driving at the time), I decided to turn on the radio because the best way to get rid of false guilt is to worship (praise) God. I knew immediately that God was giving me my answer through the song choice on the radio – it was a song reminding me how loved, accepted, and treasured I am to Him. It brought back all the verses that God had been hiding in my heart for the past year, reminding me of how He thinks of me. I’m His Child. I’m loved. I’m accepted. I’m treasured.
I’d be lying if I said that song changed everything for me. I wish I could sit here and say it did. But, I still struggled with false guilt for about another week. I still struggled with disappointing others despite resting in the fact God loved me and I knew I had obeyed my Father with my choice. I still made choices that weren’t perfect in which I envisioned Him up in Heaven, saying, “Little one, are you sure you want to go down this path? There are better choices in this situation.” I didn’t handle the situation perfectly.
Come back next time and I will show you the rest of what God spoke to my heart.
© Cheri Swalwell 2016