“The size of your dreams may be the most accurate measure of the size of your God. Is He bigger than your biggest problem, your worst failure, your greatest mistake? Is He able to do immeasurably more than all you can ask or imagine?”
(Mark Batterson, Chase the Lion)
For about two weeks this fall, I really struggled with the above thought. I was angry, depressed, and felt hopeless. I was losing my dream and felt like there was no reason to continue doing what I knew I was supposed to be doing.
I think a lot of it was fatigue. Fall was very busy for us and there just wasn’t any downtime. The weekends were as busy as the weekdays and some weeks I worked double the hours I usually worked, while still trying to juggle full time chauffeur duties to three busy kids as well as my own activities.
I think the combination of busy and tired laid a great foundation for the enemy to start to work on my thoughts. Somewhere in the hustle and bustle of busy, my quiet times weren’t as meaningful. I wasn’t spending the time with God that I usually did and therefore, the enemy had more of an opportunity to whisper lies for me to choose to believe. And the biggest lie I was struggling with was this… why should I believe that God wants the best for me? I’m not better than anyone else and just because I’m His child, that doesn’t guarantee safety or blessings or a way out of the struggles that have taken up residence on my front porch.
It wasn’t until I read Pastor Batterson’s quote above that it hit me. Yes, I do believe God is bigger than my biggest problem, worst failure and greatest mistake. More importantly, I do believe His Word when it tells me He is able to do more than I could possibly imagine. Not because I deserve it; simply because He loves me.
That is why I should believe that God wants the best for me. Nothing I’ve done… all because He sacrificed His Son, Jesus, on the cross. To allow other thoughts to take up residence in my heart tells God that His Son’s death meant nothing.
When I remembered that one simple truth, it changed my mindset. Instead of seeing hopeless, I reminded God that He is working behind the scenes. Instead of getting angry, I chose to look at situations from His point of view. By making the simple change to see situations through the lens of God’s love, it truly does change everything.
It’s also helped that I have started to take better care of myself. God’s best doesn’t include running ourselves down to fumes. Jesus was the example on earth for us and He took time out to recharge and refresh regularly. We are encouraged to do the same. While I am still remaining open about the God-sized dream I would love to fulfill someday, I’m confident that God has one in mind… and that He will reveal it to me in His time, His way. Until then, I am continuing to trust the promise that He is more than able to do more than I could ever imagine or think to ask for.
© Cheri Swalwell 2016