“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:2 (NIV)
Last time we were together, I spoke about how, for me, I had to give up my dream completely so that God could rewrite it His way, in His time.
While reading the above book, Chase the Lion, I realized something else. If I truly allow God full access into my life and full control over all I do, then eventually the desires of my heart will be fulfilled on a level that I can’t even imagine.
In the meantime, instead of pouting or doubting or worrying that I’m missing the boat, or as in the past trying to manipulate and control which dream gets realized when, I’m content tending the sheep that God has entrusted to me faithfully. And tending the sheep is part of fulfilling the desires of my heart.
I love the two jobs I’m privileged to do. There are aspects to the jobs that are stressful and difficult and out of my comfort zones, but other aspects that were handwritten just for me. If I was writing or speaking or whatever God has planned for me full time, I wouldn’t be able to do what I’m doing now.
Being a full time mom has always been the deepest desire of my heart. Stepping away from publishing 7 books in one year or the multiple projects that are on my plate right now wasn’t a hardship. I didn’t feel God tell me, “You’re finished.” I heard God tell me, “For this season, your children need more of you.” I’m treasuring that extra time. I’m choosing to use this time to dig deeper and learn important truths that God wants to show me. I’m using this time to invest in a healthier me, something else God has asked for obedience in.
I believe God will give me tangible goals again for 2017. I’m sensing that God is getting ready to do a change in our family. Do I know what? No. I’m actually enjoying the wait… knowing that I can trust God that whatever change He’s getting ready to make, it will be for our good. It might be demanding, it might take me out of my comfort zone, but if God brings us to it, then God will show us how He wants us to fulfill it.
Unlike a few months ago when I had to plan everything out and tell God what the next step is, I can honestly say that more days than not I’m very happy to stay tending the sheep. I have full confidence that since I’m listening and waiting expectantly for God’s command, I won’t miss it when He tells me to start walking. I’ll even go as far as to say, that if for some reason I do miss it, God will tell me again until I get it. In the meantime, I’ve grown to really love the sheep. I hope they get to come along with me when God tells me it’s time to pick up and move on.
© Cheri Swalwell 2016