“‘Because a loveless world,’ said Jesus, ‘is a sightless world. If anyone loves me, he will carefully keep my word and my Father will love him—we’ll move right into the neighborhood! Not loving me means not keeping my words. The message you are hearing isn’t mine. It’s the message of the Father who sent me.’” John 14:23-24 (The Message)
In the post titled God Burned the Blanket – Part III, I spoke about how God had used the summer of 2016 and the spring of 2017 to heal some areas in my life that needed His touch: food addiction and some emotional heart issues. However, just because God healed them, I wasn’t walking in that freedom and healing so I haven’t been receiving the full blessing of that healing. I had started to go backwards instead because without daily walking in obedience, healing doesn’t always look healthy.
There are times when God will heal us immediately, instantly and we will be able to walk in that freedom from the first day of healing until death. I have heard testimonies of that type of healing from alcoholism and have recently experienced it myself from the heaviness of depression.
There are other times God will heal us but will require daily, weekly obedience to walk in that freedom for healing to remain. And this, my friends, is what I’ve been struggling with the summer of 2017. I know that God has healed my food addiction. I don’t even like the food that I eat at times. Other times, I enjoy all food God has created and am able to eat within the limits that God allows. I’ve also grown with God to the point where I hate when I put food and its temptations above my love for Him. I struggle in the area of eating too much, eating the wrong things and eating out of emotional responses instead of physical hunger. I believe that God allows me to have this push-pull because it keeps me dependent upon Him and His strength, knowing I can’t do this alone.
However, that doesn’t mean God has left me hanging in this area either. He has given me some very clear guidelines that He has instructed me to follow. Guidelines that a four-year-old could understand. Because when God gives me a direction, He doesn’t mince words. I can understand precisely what He is asking of me. He wants me to succeed more than I want to succeed. He doesn’t create a treasure map with hidden clues to find the answer… He lays out clearly what He wants followed.
If I choose to do it His way, then I will walk in freedom. If I choose to do it my way, I will continue to struggle. My choice. His way? Freedom. My way? Constant struggling. It should be a no brainer, but instead I’ve spent the summer fighting against my fleshly desires to do it my way even though I know my way makes me miserable. I want His blessings. I want to live in the freedom being offered. I’m choosing to take the long way to the right path. While God’s love never diminishes no matter how long the detour takes, I can’t step into His blessings until I choose to do it His way. While my head understands that, there is something stubborn inside of me that hasn’t completely surrendered yet.
Healing doesn’t always look healthy. Only I can choose when I’ll get off the detour I’ve been on and just obey.
© Cheri Swalwell 2017