If your family is anything like mine, there is a reason for which wrapping paper is used for each person. Everyone gets their own and it usually coincides with that person’s personality. My mom gets poinsettias as she loves flowers, my dad gets Santa Claus paper as he loves to “help out the Big Guy,” and my nephew gets something to do with sports.
Those similarities and differences spill over to each family member also. Whenever my extended family gets together, we love to sit around talking about how my niece is just like me and my son shows traits of my sister, and how even my adopted nephew takes after his grandmother at times, despite no true biology (goes to show nurture is as important as nature).
Sometimes the differences can seem huge and tensions can flare. Your family is used to rising at 5:00 a.m. and rolling into bed again around 8:00 p.m. Your brother’s family rolls out of bed around noon and stays up past midnight. The patriarchs of the family want to eat three square meals a day but you are lucky to be hungry once or twice only. The babies need quiet and consistent naptimes. Your aunt likes things organized and you are more carefree with how you keep your house.
So, how, especially around the holidays, do you make it all work? How do you keep tempers from flaring and harsh words from ruining not only family togetherness but possibly lifelong relationships?
My personal opinion is that if you can keep the real reason for getting together in the forefront of your mind, it helps. What is more important – a spotless house or a Dicecapades tournament (if you have never played this game, it is hilarious, especially with a large group of people.)? Getting a chance to stay up late and getting a glimpse into your sister’s heart again or getting the allotted eight hours of sleep you usually need? Most little ones (there are always exceptions) can usually adapt to a different schedule temporarily also without too many meltdowns.
When family togetherness occurs this year, I issue you a challenge. Why not be the first one to make relationships the priority this year centered around an environment of fun? You might be surprised. If you take time to invest in your family, digging a little bit deeper into their personal lives, taking time to talk about more than just surface topics, you might be surprised that what you leave with this year is more than a store bought present. Instead, you might leave with a better understanding of why your brother, sister, aunt, grandmother reacts or acts a certain way. You might have a better understanding of why your brother has always hated spiders, you might learn what exactly childhood was like for your parents and your kids might gain a better appreciation for why Grandma and Grandpa spoil them (or withhold treats and presents).
I admit – I struggle sometimes in this area (because I really like my sleep and I’ve been running full speed ahead for the past decade) but I want to make relationships a priority this year … because sleep is overrated and I can always try and catch up in January. Who knows? We might have another polar vortex!
© Cheri Swalwell 2019