“Who is like you, Lord God Almighty?
You, Lord, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you.” Psalm 89:8 (NIV)
I shared last time how God used visual imagery to help me heal from years of food addiction. Now, it may seem like He healed me instantly, but as I shared, God invited me on this journey a year ago April… and it took a year of committed obedience for this heart to finish putting the pieces of the puzzle together to be at the place where healing could occur.
Since my conversation with God, and His healing my heart, I have chosen to walk in the belief that God has helped me permanently change. But along with believing He did it, there is still a level of commitment on my part to live differently, as one who is free, not still in bondage.
It didn’t take long for the enemy to try and derail my commitment. A little more than 24 hours actually. He gave me one day to think I didn’t need God’s help and then chose a series of circumstances that in the past would have derailed my “new” commitment instantly. This time, though, I’m walking in God’s healing and therefore, resisting is easier. I saw what the enemy was doing and I wasn’t going to let it stop me from living a life free from the weight of addiction.
While I feel free to eat any food God created now, I am free to eat within the boundaries of true physical hunger and what’s best for my body. Not Thanksgiving Day meals on an ordinary Wednesday after having eaten a normal breakfast and planning to eat dinner with my family less than four hours later. Not grazing all day long, safe in the knowledge of God’s grace “if I mess up.” No, and that’s where it’s different this time. I don’t have the desire to graze, to eat constantly or to have that Thanksgiving Day meal on an ordinary Wednesday in the spring. My emotional hunger has been filled… completely sealed. Now the temptations to eat with family when I’m not physically hungry are there… but since I’m not spending my days filling the emotional hunger which leaves no room for physical hunger to even have a chance to begin, I’m finding that I’m usually hungry for meals with my family that I enjoy more. And, it’s easier to eat less because I know I’m not facing “one last meal” before the next diet. And, I find I’m craving healthier foods most of the time too. I’m eating to fill a physical need… because God has filled the emotional need.
What about those times, though, when the enemy lays on the circumstances that leave my emotional tank empty? Not the memories from the past but the current situations that would have had me running for a donut? Now I’m turning to God to talk about them. I’m quicker to give Him that baggage, that burden and trust He has a solution. Of the three issues that came up two days after my conversation with God, one resolved itself, one turned out to be a nonissue, and one just needed a little extra grace in order to move past. None were solved with a donut or piece of cake. And that, my friends, left me more satisfied than I’ve felt in years.
© Cheri Swalwell 2017