Choose to Submit … Choose to Lead

Choose to Submit … Choose to Lead


I was having coffee with a couple of friends a few months back and made the statement, “I let my husband lead,  …” and then proceeded to tell them how I submitted to his advice and the great outcome as a result of listening to his wisdom instead of choosing to overreact which would have caused a bad decision for everyone.


After I left, I continued the conversation with God and realized it takes two in a marriage to choose to submit … and to lead.


What would marriage look like if instead of choosing to submit daily to my husband’s authority, I fought him at every turn?


What would marriage look like if instead of choosing to lead our family well, my husband threw his hands up and said, “Do what you want?”


God designed marriage beautifully. He put the husband in charge of protecting and providing for his family and the wife in charge of the emotional atmosphere of the household. Ephesians 5:21-33 is the perfect outline for how a Christian household should run. God doesn’t give the man full control over his loved ones to boss them around and He doesn’t ask the women to submit so she becomes lazy and sits back with no responsibility.

The husband is commanded to love his wife as Christ loves the church. He is to protect his wife, make decisions for the good of the family (not to fulfill his selfish desires) and to put his wife above his own needs.

The wife is to submit to her husband’s authority, encouraging and supporting him, which is best done on her knees in prayer, asking God to give him wisdom as he provides for and protects his family daily.


However, it’s still a choice. I have to wake up every morning and choose to submit to my husband’s authority. And just as important, he has to wake up every morning and choose to protect, provide, and lead our family well.


I choose to submit to my husband.

And I’m thankful he chooses to lead our family well using the biblical principles God teaches.


© Cheri Swalwell 2020

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