Free …

I don’t know about you, but it’s heavy to carry around the weight of self regret; especially the regret of not measuring up to the person I think I should be. I see myself one particular way in my mind, as someone who should exhibit all the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) all the time.

They say that is when a person’s true character shines through – in stressful situations and painful life events. Therefore, I feel like I have to measure up to perfection all the time in order to allow Christ to shine through me, showing His example to others. My biggest fear is that people will judge God based on my imperfections.

However, I think I have been thinking about this all wrong. I shine the most for Christ when I sit back, relax, and ask Him for a clean slate every day. When I put my priorities in their correct order, asking God what His plan is for me today and not worrying about my own agenda. Those are the days that more gets done, I show more “fruit” from above, and I go to bed at night with a clear conscious, not having completed my own checklist, but listening and watching and be willing to accomplish what God had in store for me instead.

I find, too, that the more I think in terms of what God wants to do in my life today, the happier I am. Not because I now have an excuse for slacking off; no, instead, I tend to be more vigilant, not wanting to disappoint the God of the universe by failing to complete a task He set before me.

But, it is His agenda and He is a much nicer Judge of me than I ever will be of myself. He doesn’t hold a grudge if I fail to accomplish all He asks. He cares more about my heart and my desire to obey than whether or not I completed each task perfectly. If only I was that forgiving of myself.

Do you have difficulty in that area too, or are you more willing to show yourself grace on a regular basis?

© Cheri Swalwell 2020



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