When You Feel Like Quitting…

“When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.” Unknown

This phrase hit close to home. As I was sharing in the last post, God has not only given me “the want to to want to,” but He’s given me the tools and the accountability I need to start removing the mountain that’s been blocking my victory in the realm of emotional eating.

I didn’t become an emotional eater overnight, and just because I’m discovering the lies that have held me bondage, even though God could heal me instantly from this thorn in my side, that’s not the route He’s chosen. And, I’m glad.

God has healed me instantly from depression in the past. And while there may be slight flare up’s from time to time, it’s nothing like the black cloud I lived under for years. And He’s given me tools in other areas to apply when the symptoms resurface so I can eradicate them quicker and I’m back to living in freedom.

However, if He did that with me regarding the issue of emotional eating, I would be missing out on so much. He, instead, allowed me to reach a point where I was willing to fully surrender and obey. He has also given me the “want to,” but the habits that have been deeply ingrained in me are still there as well. That means the progress, while steadily moving in the right direction, is much slower than I would want.

However, I’m grateful. Because I know from past victories achieved, those that are worked at harder are more appreciated. And, the tools that are learned through the achieving keep me walking in freedom once I reach the goal.

I mentioned how God miraculously healed me from years of depression. I prayed for over five years for God to heal me, and after praying regularly, one spring day He invited me to pray consistently for 30 days straight, with my prayer partner, for complete healing. Within a few days, I was completely healed. Instantly. That level of depression has never come back.

While walking in freedom from depression, I began experiencing panic attacks. But because of pursuing healing from depression, I had the tools I needed to gain victory from those as well.

I’ve had flare-ups from time to time with both depression and panic attacks, but never at the same level as when I was gripped with either. By using the tools God had given me, I was able to fight, and gain victory that much sooner.

I’m grateful God is working with me slowly (yet quickly) on what tools I need to break free from emotional eating. I have prayed to be released from this for years … and similar to when He healed me from depression, one day this spring, He gave me the tools I needed to break free permanently. He had given me tools in the past but I wasn’t ready. He knew until I was ready with my heart and my head, it wouldn’t succeed. But now that I realize what the tools entail and what it means to walk in freedom, I’m ready to get started and walk in victory.

In the meantime, I will stumble. I have stumbled. I have deliberately disobeyed. But I’m using the tools and each time I get back up, I advance a little further in the healing process.

I think that’s why the statement resonated with me. Throughout this process, when I wasn’t seeing much progress, when it felt like nothing was changing, when I felt like quitting, I needed to remember God is healing parts of me that may not show on the outside, but need to be fixed first in order for complete healing to occur.

© Cheri Swalwell 2021

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